Photo Op
by Animegrl421
Summary: A photo is worth more than a thousand words-namely the most drama to have seen South Park in ages. Now to wait for this whole thing to just blow over, without Kyle noticing that is. K2 Kenny/Kyle, compromising pictures, sexual situations, and sex to come. Slash. NC-17
1. The Accidental Picture

**Photo Op**

**_Prologue: The Accidental Picture_**

Kenny pulled on his shirt, only blinking as his locker door was shut by someone beside him. Eyes turned to the culprit. "Hey, Craig, what's up?" he asked. Then, "You know I wasn't through with that, right?"

Craig ignored him, "Red says you guys never slept together. She told me you made it all up because she refused to date you that one time."

Kenny blinked again, tilting his head in confusion. "But, we did-"

"Not." Craig interrupted.

The locker room became silent after that, news of Craig's announcement making its way across the small space in a matter of seconds. "But I have proof." Kenny replied.

Craig gave him a doubtful look. Though, from Kenny's point-of-view all of Craig's looks were dubious. "Where is it then?"

Kenny opened his locker slowly, looking defiantly at Craig as he pulled it open-daring the boy to close it on him again. He proceeded to pull his phone out from the pocket of his rumpled jeans. He flipped it open, paying no heed to the numerous people beginning to form a crowd around the two as he searched through the picture files. Finding the proof, he turned it around to face Craig-

Who gaped. "Is that really her?"

"In full glory, my friend." Kenny replied proudly. "She put out faster than Bebe on a Saturday night at one of Token's drunk fests."

The phone was taken by someone to his side. "Hey! That's precious merchandise!"

"No kidding…" Kenny heard Token say from the back.

Kenny reached out, trying to get his phone back when it was passed down through the crowd. "Fuck you, guys!" he declared, glaring at the crowd. "If you guys get your man juices all over it…" he began threatening. He never finished though, because shortly after his declaration someone apparently decided to press the "next" button.

"Holy shit, you did a dude?"

The crowd's madness stopped at that, all eyes turning to the blond. _Shit. _ He raised an eyebrow in response, hands over his chest defensively. "Do you blame me?" he asked. "Look at him!" _Shit, maybe I shouldn't let them-_

"Fuck, dude…This is…"

"Threatening your sexuality, I know." Kenny finished. He shifted, eyes scanning the crowd for said-dude. Not seeing him, he sighed heavily in relief. "That one's something else." he said fondly. He knew the exact picture, having it memorized by now.

It rivaled Red's runny makeup and whore smirk any day. Legs wide open, arms up in a true surrender. Bare chest littered with scars from the night, flushed body-a redness creeping up from the neck only to cut off right before the chin. Toned stomach gleamed temptingly with droplets of sweat-of passion not even the best of whores could mock. Chest was caught in a great heave, close to the breaking point of both parties. A true moment, one he'd never forget. Not something he found often. Though, he knew before he had a taste that this one was by no means the regular whores he did in his spare time. He was a bit too distracted at the time to even try for another picture. And who could blame him? The night had been too perfect. Though, he was more than thankful he hadn't shown more. This was already going to get him a year of teasing with no release if it got out-which it no doubt would judging by the crowd of horny dudes surrounding him.

"Guys!" he yelled, hand out for his phone. "Enough of the group jerk- Phone. Now."

Clyde had it, he found after, and proceeded to press a few buttons rapidly before handing it back. Kenny didn't think too much on this as his phone was returned, the picture still up on the screen tauntingly. _Calm down… Remember you're in public… _he reminded himself, eyes scanning the picture as memories pushed forth. He shook them away, trying to think of the present.

There was a pause then, "So…I'm just gonna put on some pants then." Kenny said, gathering his jeans from his locker. He pulled them on slowly over his bare bottom, briefly wondering if he should start wearing underwear to avoid these types of situations.

The silence around him begged to be broken, his own awkwardness making him too self-aware for his liking. He knew only one way to break it.

"Sorry Craig, I know you wanted to stop me from covering myself but teachers just wouldn't understand your desperate need for my body to constantly be put on display…" He patted the fuming-boy's shoulder, the only response a middle finger raised heatedly in his direction. He flipped him off in turn, walking out of the room as he did so. He didn't need to look back to know that Craig was giving him a death-glare. Though, it was probably diluted with confusion and horniness. The two usually go hand-in-hand with situations like these...

He knew all this only meant trouble. And God be his witness, he was going to get his fill tonight before the other found out what had happened. He flipped open his phone, thumbing through the contacts. Finding him, he texted,** _Cum ovr 2nite & u wont b able 2 walk 2mro ;)_**

The phone vibrated directly after it was sent, and Kenny smirked at the response.

_With statements as romantic as that, how could I possibly say "no?"_

Typical Kyle.


	2. The Not-So Accidental Picture

**Photo Op**

**Chapter One: The Not-So Accidental Picture (At Least on One Side)**

Kyle tapped his pencil against his thigh, glancing at Stan ever so often to find his friend staring at the board with squinted eyes. "Still refuse that you need glasses?" Kyle whispered. He laughed quietly at Stan's glare. "You know, that'd work better if you were looking directly at me, right?" he teased.

"Shut-up, dude! I don't need glasses, they're for geeks."

"Geeks, Stan? Really? When did we suddenly appear on 1970's television?" Kyle asked, "Better yet, on a dated after-school special."

Stan sighed, "Nevermind, maybe I should get glasses."

"_Finally,_ you know-"

"Compared to you I'd never look as nerdy. Seriously, dude? '1970's television show?' I'm assuming you have a reference in there too, knowing you."

"_Happy Days_ was a popular show, Stan, and the point is-"

"_Was_ popular. We hang out why again?"

"Because you can't get enough of my dated references. Try to hide it all you want, but I know the truth." Kyle smiled, "Besides, I guess I can start using _Star Trek_ references instead."

"Are you being serious?" Stan blinked at him, already knowing the answer. "You know that isn't any better, in fact I think I'm going to pretend I don't know you for a couple days just for saying that."

"It's way too late for pretending dude, I think everyone already knows." Kyle pointed out smoothly.

Stan looked around, "No, surely not."

"It's true. Some daring to say we're even," Kyle lowered his voice to barely a whisper, "_friends." _

"Maybe we did give it away too easily…" Stan shrugged half-heartedly. "I knew we shouldn't have shared that milk at breakfast…"

"I guess it didn't help that you dragged me to class today…" Even through the playful banter he couldn't help a small glare at this.

Noticing the glare Stan only crossed his arms defensively over his chest. "My pulling you out of every fight with Cartman could be said as my volunteer work to better society."

"So could my beating Cartman to a bloody pulp."

"So could ignoring Cartman."

"There is no ignoring that ignorant selfish-"

Stan interrupted before the rant could really start, _"'Do or do not, there is no try.'"_

"_Suuure_ I'm the geek." Kyle replied with a raised eyebrow.

There was a pause in which both gave each other angry looks before-

"Stan just get the damn glasses already!"

"No."

"You know, Stan, someone great once said, _'Don't try to be a great man, just be a man…' _in glasses."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in response. Kyle's smirk didn't help the matter one bit.

"Ah, come on, Stan, you used to love that line!" Kyle argued.

"Back when I didn't know any better."

"You mean back when you had tastes."

A vibration from his pocket had him looking around the class for the teacher before pulling out his cell phone. A text from Kenny, _Cum ovr 2nite & u wont b able 2 walk 2mro ;)_

He bit his lip at the words, eyes shifting from a semi-curious Stan to the teacher once more. Willing himself not to laugh at the words, he replied: _**With statements as romantic as that, how could I possibly say "no?"**_

"Kenny?" Stan asked knowingly. "What'd he send this time, another joke about Bebe's tits?"

Once more trying to keep a calm façade underneath his best friend's questioning gaze, he replied stiffly. "Yep, something about their resilience to reduction surgery and their taking over of the universe if they grow yet again."

Stan hmm'd on this, clearly not believing him. The redhead almost groaned in frustration. Not at Stan's suspicions, no, the other was pretty much spot-on to believe he was hiding something. Or really someone. "And he's still on this, why?" Stan asked.

Kyle gave him a dubious look, "Stan. It's Kenny."

The other sighed, "Guess you're right."

The bell rang as if sensing Kyle's worries of being found out. He lingered behind with Stan as they always did as they both gathered their belongings. "I'm always right," he stated.

"Sure you are," Stan replied, throwing an arm around Kyle's shoulders before they began their trek into the hallway. "Except on my eyewear."

"Or lack thereof," Kyle added. "But I am right. Can't wait to say told you so later."

"Then you will be waiting forever!" Stan said with finality, leading the redhead toward his class. When they arrived at the door, Stan removed his arm.

"Or more like tomorrow when you finally realize you can't keep walking into walls with the lame excuse of 'wasn't paying attention.'" Kyle countered, pushing his messenger bag strap more fully onto his shoulder.

"Dude, I really don't pay attention and besides, when's the last time you saw me walk into a wall?"

"How about yesterday?"

"Okay, so that _one _time!"

"You walked into it twice." Kyle argued back, crossing his arms in defiance.

"So, it happened twice, could've happened to anyon-"

"In a row, Stan?" Kyle questioned.

"Whatever, dude," Stan replied after a moment of consideration. The redhead rolled his eyes at the words. _He must really think glasses look bad. Too bad he doesn't want contacts. Stupid eye touching phobia…_

"Uh-huh," Kyle stated doubtfully as he patted the other softly on the shoulder. "See you, dude."

"Yeah, see ya." Shaking his head, Kyle took his leave toward his own class further down the hall.

Walking through the halls, Kyle could only shake his head as he pushed through a few crowds of lingering people. He glanced down as he passed, noting the phones they held in their hands. _Typical South Park teenager, can't walk and text at the same time. _ Perhaps it was too much to ask that if they can't simply do two impossibly easy tasks at once that they move out of the _fucking_ way. But of course, they can't even manage to walk to their class, how in the world would they manage standing next to their lockers or perhaps the blank wall next to that?

He groaned, hallway traffic becoming near a standstill as groups stopped mid-walk to stare gapingly at screens. "You've got to be kidding me right now…" he muttered. Shaking his head, he could only seethe in silence now. He shifted toward the white wall, sighing in relief as the single file line walked toward his class. Sure it was a slow pace, but at least it was moving.

Nearing his destination, the line spread out finally, the group stalling the line now behind them. Kyle found his curiosity pushing him to look back. _Of course, Clyde and his group of jocks. _ They were in a huddle together; talking in hushed tones compared to usual loud yells they called their indoor voices.

He couldn't help but wonder why they weren't throwing the "old pigskin" around the hall annoying the shit out of him as per usual. He couldn't complain much about that he supposed because at least throwing a football didn't cause such traffic.

Entering the classroom, he took his regular seat beside the small window. It was his only escape when question and answer time started. He used to be so patient when people asked their questions, but now he couldn't strain himself to do so. Ramming his head on the desk would be more enjoyable than listening to yet another question and answer like, "What are some of the factors leading to the Great Depression?" with the awe-ensuing answer- "Um, when people realized they were depressed greatly?"

It didn't help that the teacher would try to explain in terms even a one-year-old would understand with ease what exactly he was looking for answer-wise. It was torture. It didn't help, he supposed, that he had already read and taken notes on more than ten chapters ahead in class. Not that his mother would have any less from him.

Thinking of his mother only had him lowering himself further in his seat. He supposed lying to her would be the best bet tonight, since he'd no doubt not be coming home. At least she rarely followed up on his saying he was going to Stan's house. Well, small favors and all that.

He hid his phone under his desk, looking at his latest text from Kenny. He smiled at the perverted comment for a second time, a flurry of excitement bubbling in his chest. He wondered what tonight would actually be like. The teacher's voice had him putting his phone away hurriedly. He felt a small twinge of regret at the action as a vibration alerted him of a new text.

_Please go by quickly. _ he pleaded, knowing the text would have to wait until after class. _The only teacher that actually gives a shit also has hawk-eyes._

Class hadn't gone by quickly. In fact it was a slow torture at best. He bolted out the door after, more than ready to leave. Though, he supposed it was both the fact he was the only one in the advanced class out of his entire group of friends. Well, besides Wendy, but she hated talking in that class. He sighed, heading to lunch quickly.

He couldn't help but stare as the crowds multiplied as they had earlier. More and more people had formed groups of people looking at their phones and sharing them with others. _A new app maybe? _He walked slower to avoid hitting the randomly stopped or stopping people in front of him.

_Wait, didn't I get a text? _Wondering briefly if it was a mass text causing the disruption, he took out his phone and moved toward the bathroom to get away from the overbearing amount of stationary people. He sighed in relief at the barren room, opening his phone's lock screen. Seeing the new message screen, he opened the message-only to drop it in shock as someone shoved him into the wall behind him. "Ow!" His cry of pain was oppressed as lips pressed harshly against his own. Hands grasped his shoulders, pressing his back more fully onto the wall it had just hit.

Shock had him standing still as the person took advantage of his surprise. Then, his teeth bit into the soft lower lip as his knee connected with the groin harder than needed yet needed at the same time- "Shit, Kyle! What the fuck?"

Kyle glared at a crumpled Kenny, willing his body to stop its shaking. "Dude, seriously? I think some random dude's going to molest me and you're surprised I only stopped there?"

Watery blue eyes stared back at him as hands covered Kenny's most prized possession. "You can't molest the willing, Kyle!" he winced, expecting another kick to the balls. Instead Kyle glared harder, crossing his arms. "Fine, no more spontaneousness!"

The redhead rolled his eyes. "That's not even a word."

Kenny pushed himself to a more upright position, one hand lowered to protect his groin just in case. "But you've said it before!"

Kyle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in a very Stan-like fashion. "Not in that form-just, you know what? Nevermind. We're going to lunch."

"But, Kyle, I worked hard to get us in this bathroom-"

"Dude, we both know you randomly saw me then assaulted me. No more, no less. But if you plan on being persistent I know of a few less-than sexy things to stop that train of thought. Besides, thinking you're about to be molested is a real mood-killer on this end."

With that said, Kyle began to walk from the bathroom, only to turn around at the door as he remembered his phone was on the floor somewhere. Widened eyes scanned the floor quickly before looking up to the blond to ask about the object when they fell upon said-object in Kenny's hand.

Kyle sighed in relief, "Thank God. I thought it'd been flung into a urinal or some shit."

Kenny's head tilted before he held the phone out for Kyle. "Who's to say it wasn't in one?" he questioned.

"Because you wouldn't have touched it?" Kyle asked back slowly.

"You'd be surprised at the shit I'd do." Nevertheless, Kenny let Kyle swipe the object from him easily.

"Apparently not anymore. Fucking attacking me in the _public_ restroom…" Kyle muttered in response. The redhead searched the screen for marks when his eyes saw the picture glaring up at him. He growled, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" Kenny asked innocently.

"Dude," Kyle held the phone up, the picture in question blaring at the room. "A picture of your dick? Can you possibly be any more perverted?" he asked before holding the phone out of Kenny's reaching hands as he deleted the offensive picture.

"Why'd you delete it? That was pure gold!"

Kyle sighed once more as he left the room with the blond trailing closely behind him. He ignored the crazy explanations about penises in society and how his happened to be beautiful and wanted by all the land.

_Maybe I shouldn't have ignored him, _he realized as he allowed a few words past the wall he'd put up halfway down the hall. _Then, at least I wouldn't be wondering how the Hell he'd gotten on the subject of pancakes._

Entering the cafeteria, they took their place in line, Kenny's voice automatically becoming quieter in the loudness of the room. _Probably for the best. I just know I'd be ready to hit him by now otherwise. Don't know why I didn't before…_

"Hey, dudes, why're you talking about pancakes?" Stan's voice interrupted both Kyle's thoughts and Kenny's rambling. Kyle shook his head, and Stan nodded. "You're right, Kye, it's just Kenny's weirdness showing through words, right?"

"You forgot his stupidity." Kyle replied back shortly.

Kenny looked offended at the remark, but didn't respond as they reached the trays. Taking one each, they stepped forward in line. "Wait, so you're the one harassing me for pancake talk and you still haven't replied to Wendy about tonight?"

Stan glared at Kenny, "Dude…" he muttered, eyes darting to Kyle.

Kenny just shrugged, "Fuck dude, how was I supposed to know he didn't know? You guys are so weird, I assume you both tell each other everything then-boom! Nope, you're both pussies too scared to share anything in case you cross some imaginary bullshit line." Kenny ignored Stan's angry groan of frustration as he piled food onto his tray.

"Okay…" Kyle began, eyes shifting from Stan to Kenny and back again.

Stan sighed heavily, eyes lowering to the ground. "Wendy wants us to; you know….Go all the way tonight." A hand scratched at the back of his neck as he looked away from his best friend.

Kyle smiled, "That's great, dude! Why didn't you want me to know?"

Stan stiffened, voice turning to a whisper now, "I just, I didn't want you to get upset about it…"

Kyle tilted his head, copying Kenny as he piled food onto his own tray. He looked to Stan confusedly. "And I'd be upset about my best friend losing his virginity to the love of his life, why again?"

The other shifted his eyes to meet the redhead's. "I thought you might, you know, be jealous."

Kenny, who'd been pretending to gag at their gayness the entire time, began to laugh. Kyle hit him on the shoulder, which only greatened the loudness of the laughter. The redhead groaned, rolling his eyes at Kenny's immaturity.

"And I'd be jealous why, exactly?" Kyle asked, mind searching for possible answers and failing to find any.

Stan looked away again, gathering only a little food on his own tray. He mumbled when he spoke, "Because you're the only one of us that'd still be a virgin."

The blond in front of them stopped his laughter, making noises as if he was clearing his throat instead. Kyle smacked him on the back of the head, only blinking as Kenny choked on more laughs before pulling up his hood and pulling his parka strings to tighten the fabric. Kyle sighed, feeling guilt bubble in his chest at the words.

Kyle shook his head. "Stan, since when did that shit ever matter to me?"

"I know but…"

"As long as fat ass doesn't get a sober girl before one of us, then I'm good. Well, girl or dude. Whichever."

Stan smiled at him in relief, "Sorry dude, I just thought after that depressive state after Cartman's virginity loss that you'd get upset."

Kyle gave him a dumbfounded look. "I was depressed because it was _Cartman, _Stan. _Cartman. _I'm still not getting how that even happened."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure no one does. Sure as Hell not Rebecca either. She's turned into a reborn virgin now, you know?"

Kyle laughed, albeit a bit nervously. "I would too if I'd done someone that grotesque." The guilt in his stomach had him turning away from Stan toward the cashier faster than usual. Paying quickly, he stood beside a hooded Kenny. He frowned at the smiling eyes, trying his best not to hit the other once again for his suspicious act. Noticing the redhead's frown, Kenny laughed again, coughing a little to cover it as Stan approached them after paying.

They walked to their table, not batting an eye at the already-seated Cartman. "Hey fags, took you long enough."

Said-boy didn't even look up at them as they chose their seats. Instead, he flipped through a magazine as he ate heartily. Kenny dug in immediately, pulling down his parka hood for better access and smiling widely as he devoured his food. Kyle sighed, not even responding to Cartman's comment.

Stan shifted in his seat, "Dude, I forgot my milk…"

Kyle turned to him, "I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose, Stan."

The other shook his head in defiance, "Hey, this morning I didn't forget it!"

"Yeah, it was punctured," Kyle responded. "By your fork."

"By accident."

The redhead smiled, "Fine, steal my milk, but you're not taking my fries this time!"

Stan groaned as he took the milk and opened it. "But you never eat them!" he complained. "Which is fucking weird by the way because it-"

"-disrupts society and their values and eating habits. Not to mention the potato itself and its fried, delicious pleasure." Kyle finished, unimpressed. "And I'd finish them if you didn't steal them!"

"God, you guys are so fucking gay." Cartman commented loudly.

Stan gasped loudly, "How'd you know?" He turned to Kyle with a betrayed look in his eyes, "You told?"

Kyle's eyes dropped from Cartman to the floor, "I-I did," he said lowly before turning to look at Stan with determination, "But someone had to!"

Kenny just blinked as he ate, stealing a few fries from Kyle's plate as they argued. He ate them slower than his own food, watching the show his friends constantly provided him.

That made Stan stop, face turning from overdone frustration to resignation. "You're right, Kyle. We should've never hidden it!"

"Oh Stan, thank you!" Kyle replied, hugging the boy next to him.

Cartman gave them both a look of pure hatred. "I hate you guys so much."

Stan gasped a second time, a look of shock lining his features. "Why, Car-Car?"

Kyle buried his head in Stan's shoulder to stifle his laughs at the nickname. His shoulders shook from the effort, as he pretended to cry.

Stan patted his back, "Why would you say something so hurtful?"

"You guys, I'm seriousleh, stop your faggy bullshit or I'm going home."

"We can't help who we are, Car-Car!"

"I swear Stan, one more time-"

"Oh Stanley, you're so courageous!" Kyle said suddenly, if only to interrupt Cartman. He held tightly onto the other. "Pronouncing our love together and just moments later- defending it!" He pulled himself back, holding Stan by the shoulders now. He felt the other's hands hold onto his lower back.

"Oh, Kyle, you know I'd do anything for us-for our love. For nothing is as strong, nor as fragile, as our need and belonging to one another."

Kyle batted his eyes at the other, "Do you mean it, do you really mean it, Stanley?"

"I do, my love. And one day, I hope our children will share the same feelings as we do, for another."

The redhead's eyes widened dramatically with the words, "Do you mean-"

"We shall be together 'till the oceans empty and leave a barren land, 'till the sky darkens and the sun never brightens it again, 'till the earth itself crumbles and humanity no longer exists."

The back of his hand pressed against his forehead as the redhead gave a dazed look. "Oh God, 'tis too much, my love. I am feeling faint!"

"That's it, screw you guys-"

"OH!" Kyle collapsed as Stan lifted him in his arms, standing now.

"Oh dearest, I shall carry you with me now, just as I always will."

"I'm going home." With that, Cartman stood from his place, leaving his empty tray on the table and grabbing his bag and magazine. He flipped off both Stan and Kyle, the former of which fanned the latter whole-heartedly with the hand not keeping the redhead from falling.

Kenny watched him leave, finishing both his plate and most of Kyle's fries now. He sipped at his milk, wondering if Kyle would care or even notice if he stole the burger sitting untouched on the edge of the tray.

Watching Stan gather the redhead into his arms, he took that as a no and began on the meal once more.

Kyle peeked an eye open as if sensing Kenny's stealing, "Dude, stop stealing my food."

Kenny, who had been picking up the burger, paused. "But Ky-le…You and Stan are too busy being corny romance novel characters…"

"Kenny."

"It's okay, my love, I shall defend your food from this thief!" Stan declared, pretending to unsheathe a sword as Kyle gasped. "Unhand the lunch food!" he demanded, pointing the imaginary weapon at Kenny.

Kenny blinked, unimpressed. "I'm starting to wonder why I hang out with you guys…" Nevertheless, he let the burger fall from his hand back onto the tray only to pick up a fry and throw it at the two. "Stop that shit." he said, watching the horrified looks the two gave him with a nonchalance years of experience gave him.

"Oh! The pain!" Kyle said falling once more limply in Stan's arms as the fry hit him on the side and fell to the floor. A piece of salt fell from the fry at it hit the tile, landing on a spot next to it as if a tiny tear was shed from rejection.

"Oh no! My dear, please, please be okay! You'll make it, I promise!"

"Stan…" Kyle moaned out, making Kenny cringe. "Please, please," he coughed, "tell Cartman. That I hate him…"

"You can tell him yourself, Kye!" Stan picked him up, ignoring the tries to get away as he did so. "I'll take you to a healer, you'll be safe, Kyle, I promise!"

Kenny watched with a huff as Stan fast-walked with a reluctant Kyle in his arms out of the cafeteria. He took the burger once more, taking a bite from it slowly. "Don't want your shit taken, don't leave your shit. Speaking of which…" Kenny's foot reached Kyle's bag under the redhead's chair and dragged it toward himself. Taking out the phone that had absently been left in a side pocket, he checked the messages for the second time that day. For if there was one thing, Kenny McCormick had learned over the years, it was that you could never, ever be too careful. Ever.

Meanwhile Kyle struggled out of his friend's hands. "Let me down, Stan!"

Stan laughed as he paused outside the cafeteria. "Dude, that was fucking great!"

"I'm serious, Stan." Kyle pushed at his chest, only a second away from hitting the boy.

"I can't believe Cartman actually left!"

At the reminder of Cartman and his reaction, Kyle laughed despite himself. "Oh God, that nickname!"

Stan smiled, "He's so pissed."

They both laughed as Stan finally let an annoyed yet smiling Kyle down from his arms. Feet hit the floor as body swayed upright. "You know I hate being carried, right?"

"More than anyone," Stan replied cockily.

"Ugh." Kyle shook his head, a hand rubbing his face tiredly. Then, he paused, "You do realize we left our food with Kenny, right?"

"So?"

"_Kenny." _Kyle repeated as if it made sense.

And by Stan's practical jumping through the cafeteria doors, it made perfect sense.

Kyle shook his head again, following at a much slower pace. He knew it was pretty much too late for his food. And as the bell rang, he realized it was too late to eat anyway. _Stupid twenty-minute lunches. _He went to grab his bag to see Stan devouring whatever Kenny had left alone on his plate. "You're taking my tray back," he alerted a content Kenny.

"But-"

"You ate it, you're taking it back."

"But-"

Kyle shrugged, trying mimicking the look Kenny usually gave whilst doing the same. "I don't care if it makes sense." he interrupted as if reading the blond's thoughts. He grabbed his bag from under his chair, pulling the strap over his shoulder.

_Well, lunch was a bust. At least dinner will be interesting…_

The thoughts of the future had him grinning as he entered his next classroom. _Almost time. _

By the middle of the class, Kyle was fed-up with Cartman. The boy really had gone home, but his leaving apparently couldn't be a cause for celebration just yet as another text lightened the screen on the redhead's phone. _If it's Cartman I swear to God-_

He opened the phone, seeing it was indeed from Cartman. _Again? Really? _He bit his lip, contemplating opening the message this time-knowing it was to get him pissed. "Goddammit," he muttered under his breath when his screen lit to show another message. He opened it to see it wasn't from fat ass. _Kenny. _Eyes shifted to the teacher and back to his phone.

He read the message, _u & stan r fukin' weird._

Rolling his eyes, he thumbed out a response, _**Annnnd?**_

It took a moment before the next reply, _u shur hes n2 chicks?_

_**Before I answer that specifically can I just point out that "shur" and "sure" have the same amount of letters?**_

_annnnd?_

Kyle could almost hit his head against his desk repeatedly. _**You could have just typed- Nevermind. And you know Stan and I are just friends, and he loves Wendy more than anything or anyone. You know we were just playing around.**_

_so u guys play wit each other?_

_**I'm going to stop responding soon.**_

_but im boarrrrrd…. _

_**Kenny, I tutored you. I know you know that's not the right-stop doing that!**_

_i thawt u wanted 2 do stuf 2nite?_

Kyle really wanted to groan in frustration yet a re-read of the words stopped him. He replied slowly, unsure how to phrase the next line. _**You know I meant the grammar shit. Everything else is definitely happening.**_

The reply took longer than usual, but Kyle had been expecting that. _good ull b cumin b4 u no it_

And even with the wrong grammar, Kyle couldn't help but give his own personal smile to the message. He hoped Kenny was right for once.

Even with his thoughts running rampant, his center focus became tonight. They both could use the stress relief, he knew. And seeing Stan run up to him after he exited his last class, he felt the euphoria slow to a halt. _Goddammit, why do I have to be reminded that Stan doesn't have a clue about this yet? Stupid morals and shit…_

"Hey, dude!"

"Hey, what's up, Stan?" Kyle asked in the least-strained tone he could manage, tilting his head in question at this other. Stan shook his head, walking beside the redhead as they went to their lockers.

"I'm finally doing it, dude…" Stan muttered so only Kyle could hear. "I can't believe it, I'm so fucking nervous and-I'm sorry." Stan stopped sat that, eyes searching the floor at his words.

"Dude, if you act sorry for bringing up this again, then I reserve a right to hit you. I already told you, I don't care about that shit. Besides, you deserve this, you both do." Kyle said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "And don't be nervous, it's both your first times, so don't panic or anything."

Stan shrugged, "I know I shouldn't be nervous 'cause it's Wendy and she's perfect but I am. You know, 'cause it's Wendy and she's perfect."

Kyle smiled softly at the remark, remembering his own trepidation at losing his v-card. He held the memory close to heart, keeping the sight of an almost overbearingly worried Kenny to himself. It was something he'd always need to remind himself of, if only to prove it happened. And to prove that Kenny was more than some pervert wanting a quick fuck.

The redhead shook his head, "Relax, dude, if you really love each other as deeply as we both know you do then she doesn't care how tonight goes physically. It's about the mental connection of it, Stan, the bodies are just to add to the mood so to speak."

Stan gave him a long look after before giving a nervous laugh. "And I used to think you were cool."

The redhead gave him a glare at that, taking his hand back from the other's shoulder to cross his arms. "Hey! I'm extremely cool!"

"Yeah, cool for the nerdiest of nerds."

"I'll have you know that nerd is a term you should be jealous of!"

"Oh God, not a rant abou-"

"You see, Stan, 'nerd' basically means a person of high intellect an-"

"Did you have to start that again?" Kenny's voice interrupted the no-doubt long rant. "And I'm pretty sure the dictionary doesn't say that…"

Kyle huffed, turning to the blond boy behind him. "There's a lot of slang the dictionary doesn't cover. Besides, what it is used for in today's society-"

A hand covered his mouth, effectively cutting off his rant yet again. He mumbled obscenities through the appendage, extremely offended. Kenny smiled, giving a thumbs up to Stan with his non-busy hand. Stan just gave a nervous half-smile at the gesture, watching Kyle's glare harden slowly.

"Well, I'm going to just go now…" Stan trailed off as he backed out of an argument-to-be. "Thanks, Kyle," he added before practically bolting from the scene.

Kyle's eyes wondered to Kenny who just noticed he was angry at the covering of his mouth. The hand moved immediately after, the blond laughing slowly at the redhead. "So, tonight's going to be-"

"Shit!" Kyle interrupted, eyes widening in realization.

Kenny's eyebrows furrowed, "Um, I was thinking more on the lines of 'hot as Hell' or even 'great' but not…"

The redhead shook his head at the blond. "Not that, I fucking forgot about Stan and Wendy."

Kenny blinked at that, trying to figure out what he was apparently forgetting. "Is this some weird shit about not being able to have sex while Stan's having sex?" Hearing Kyle groan at him, he shrugged in defeat. "Okay, so not that? Dude, I don't fucking know!"

"Stan was my excuse." Kyle began. "I was going to tell ma I was with him, but he's probably going to use that as an excuse with his mom."

Kenny shrugged again, "And that's bad because?"

"My mom and his mom talk, so if either of us use it on the same night then they'll find out we're both lying by the next day max."

"So you're saying you have to be home?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Okay, then you've got two choices. One, you stay home or two you sneak out. I don't see a problem with either." Kenny said, placing his hands in his pockets, thumbs outside the fabric's hold.

Kyle sighed, "I don't know…" he groaned, "Probably sneak out."

Kenny smiled, "Knew you couldn't resist."

The redhead nudged him in the side. "Either way I have to go and-"

"Prepare yourself?"

Kyle just shook his head in response, opting to walk away from the blond instead of tempting him to rearrange anything he'd have said.

Getting away from the perverted blond, no matter how short of time, seemed an impossible task. He followed him on the way home, reminding Kyle that he couldn't help it as they lived around the same area. And reminding Kyle how mesmerizing his ass was in those jeans. "Goddammmit." Kyle muttered to himself as Kenny made himself known with his perverted comments shouted loudly at his backside. "I should've taken the bus."

"Kenny…" he growled in warning.

"Moan my name baby."

"Or maybe I should've asked Stan and Wendy for a ride home." he muttered again. _That would've been awkward but still… _He started as a hand patted him on the rear. _Would've been worth it._

Kyle shrugged his bag's strap closer to his neck, rearranging it so it was more comfortable. He paused in his walk, sighing loudly and crossing his arms. He turned to stare at the blond with blank eyes.

Kenny stood, holding his arms up in mock surrender. "I can't help it, dude, I'm excited."

"And you can't wait until tonight, why again?"

"Because I'm horny nooooow…"

Kyle's palm hit his face, rubbing downward. He sighed again, resisting the urge to pinch his nose. "How about if you do one more thing like that it'll be you and your hand tonight?"

"Mm, talk dirty to me."

"How was that something you liked- you know what? I'm going to ignore you. Oh, and you're walking in front now."

"I do like taking the lead." Kenny admitted, smiling at Kyle's frown.

"Just go already."

Kenny chuckled to himself, passing Kyle with a wink. And though Kyle was slightly more relieved at the sight of Kenny passing him, he could have done without the exaggerated sashay. "I'm starting to wonder why I even agree to do this shit…"

The blond turned at the words, keeping a slight sashay as he walked backwards, "Because you love it and we both know it."

And as much as he'd love to prove Kenny wrong, he knew it was the truth. "Turn around."

"Mm, someone likes the view even more than I did. I bet it's how I work it!"

With that said, Kenny sashayed in earnest, earning more than disturbed glances by many a passersby at this point. Kyle couldn't help the small smile at the movements, only to frown again at the guilt still boiling in his chest. "I feel guilty," he admitted quietly. His eyes drifted downward, staying on the cracked sidewalk beneath him.

"About what?" Kenny questioned, pausing in his humming of "Poker Face" to turn back to Kyle. He grew more serious upon seeing said-boy's distraught look. Hands on hips, he tilted his head. "Is this about Stan? Dude, it's not that big a deal."

"I'm lying to my best friend about being a virgin, Kenny!" Kyle argued, hand finding a hip automatically as eyes looked to a tree. "I know it sounds stupid but…" he trailed, unsure how to phrase the sentence.

"It's not like you killed someone, he'll be fine. And it's not even up to you, remember? It's both of our secret."

Kyle nodded at that, "I know, I just keep thinking about it."

Kenny gave him a smile at that, walking the two steps to the redhead and pulling him close with an arm. "Then don't."

"I can't just not think about something," Kyle reminded.

"I'm sure I can think of a few things to take Stan off your mind…" Kenny said lowly.

Kyle bit his lip, pushing the blond away gently, "Yeah, but before that I have to get my shit together and get out of the house."

"You know, I still don't completely get how both of your moms don't find out about your lies the next day. I mean, you were going to say Stan was staying at your place, right? But if your mom doesn't see him there…"

Kyle shrugged, "We usually stay in the room anyway, we just use the 'you didn't see him come in' excuse and we're covered."

"Which brings me to wondering what you guys do together in an enclosed space for hours," Kenny began, nudging Kyle.

Kyle groaned, choosing to walk ahead again. He ignored the comments Kenny made as well as the ensuing laughter, choosing to head home as quickly as possible. And it being only a few steps away made this goal easier.

Kyle waved a hand goodbye, knowing very well he'd be seeing him in a couple hours. Kenny mimicked him, still laughing to himself on some random comment Kyle hadn't heard. Shaking his head, he entered his house, "Ma, I'm home!"

Meanwhile, Kenny walked past Kyle's home with the sashay gone completely. Eyes fell from happy to blank, thoughts switching from annoying Kyle to his most immediate problem. _Why the Hell didn't I think this shit through? _he asked himself, kicking a rock to the road. "Stupid Clyde…" He knew arguing with the boy wouldn't change the past but _dammit _did he want to punch the idiot in the face. Though, thinking on how the boy had basically shown him he was texting the picture to himself, he wanted to punch himself in the face for doing nothing to stop it.

Mirroring Kyle's angry demeanor, he groaned, "Goddammit." The picture was spreading faster than he'd have ever guessed. People everywhere were talking about it, about Kenny's being gay and the mystery man that made him that way. Thinking back to the many people he'd asked about it, he knew it'd be impossible to track. Kyle could easily be sent it more than once.

Picking the phone out of his pocket, he looked at the picture of their group as kids, Kyle and Stan hugging side-by-side whilst Cartman tried to take back Clyde Frog from Kenny in the background. It was a weird picture to take, but Stan's dad had been going through yet another camera phase so it was expected around that time.

He supposed he'd be one of the top suspects on Kyle's list once he found his phone missing-especially since he'd been the last one with him after the last class of the day. But as long as that picture was circulating, he knew it was the lesser of two evils. _At least living in the ghetto taught me to steal easily enough… _Then he stopped, growling at himself, "Fucking Cartman, I don't live in the ghetto!" He ran a hand through his hair before settling to pull his hood over his head.

Judging by the two messages of the picture he'd already stopped Kyle from seeing-one by deleting and sending a picture of his dick, the next by simple deletion-he knew it'd be awhile before he could give the phone back. _I'm going to miss annoying the shit out of him with texts…_

He entered his house, not bothering to say hi to his parents as he passed. Checking his watch, he knew he still had an hour before he needed to pick up Karen from cheerleading practice. _Time enough to get my shit together then._

"Good night, ma!" Kyle called from his doorway, having already helped Ike into bed.

"Be sure to lock your window, they're saying there's another pedophile out! And tell Stanley goodnight for me."

"Okay, ma!" Kyle replied, rolling his eyes at the words. _Geez, way to make me feel like I'm four. _

He shut the door, leaning against it tiredly. Pretending Stan was there had been way harder than he thought as his mom had gone crazy with talk about school. _"But, Kyle, Ike already graduated college, you need to study more!" _Huffing with irritation, he plopped onto his bed.

_Just a few more minutes just in case… _A creaking had him starting; he looked toward the sound, wide-eyed. His window had opened. Body stilled, instinct begging him to punch whoever was coming inside before it could get to him. He was about ready to follow through when a peek of blond hair had him sighing in relief and anger both. "Kenny, what the _fuck _are you doing here?"

The blond shrugged, trying to pull himself all the way inside. "I got bored waiting." he replied easily.

Despite his frustration, Kyle ended up reaching out to help the other through the window. "And what if my mom hears you?"

Kenny laughed, "She'll think it's you and Stan fucking?"

"We're not doing it in here." Kyle stated almost immediately.

"But I'm already here…"

"Dude, this is my fucking house!"

"So? Usually it's my fucking house!" Kenny argued.

Kyle groaned, pinching his nose. "Is it some kind of kink for you to find new ways to annoy me?"

Kenny smiled at that, feet now fully on the carpet. "Kink? Why, Kyle, you really are starting to speak my language." Then, seeing Kyle's less-than-happy face, he shrugged. "You were all uptight about leaving, so I decided, 'why not stay?'"

He tilted his head at Kyle's stubborn expression before deciding to take matters into his own hands. Grabbing Kyle's collar, he pulled the other into a long kiss, his opposite hand gliding up the hem of the redhead's shirt. Kyle pulled away at first, but at Kenny's reluctance to let go, soon found himself pulling the other closer.

A phone ringing stopped the moment, Kenny groaned whilst Kyle looked around. "Dude is my ringtone coming from your pocket?"

"No…?"

Kyle glared, taking matters into his own hands as he reached into the parka for the phone. "Kyle, I like it when you're rough but-"

Kyle just shushed him, not even asking why his phone was there. Not _yet _at least.

"Hello?" he answered, pushing Kenny away unconsciously as the blond tried to kiss him again.

"_Kyle, I don't know if I can do it, dude." _Stan's voice answered.

Hands tugged at the redhead's hips, pulling him down on top of Kenny, who had taken a seat on his bed. He bit his lip to stop the surprised sound that had almost escaped him at the action. "Why not?"

Fingers tickled his skin, pushing underneath his shirt where they had left off. Kyle tried to move away, but Kenny pushed him back each time. "Stop!" he mouthed to Kenny, who just smirked.

"_Dude, it's just-How do I even know I'm going to be good?"_

"That's the-" He pushed at his shirt angrily, trying to keep the blond from pulling it off. He half-succeeded, until Kenny pushed his head underneath the fabric. "-the thing, Stan. You don't know. You probably won't." His tone was tense, as the other's lips pressed against his right nipple, a tongue peeking out to twirl around it. The redhead bit his lip, trying not to make a sound. He shifted on top of Kenny, legs trying to get off the bed. Hands held him there by the hips, pulling him further on top each try.

"_Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."_

A nibble had him half-moaning into the phone, he quickly covered it with a groan, "I didn't mean it like that, dude… It's just, it's your first time. It's going to suck." And suck Kenny did, taking the bud into his mouth to play with it in earnest.

Kyle shook his head, paying close attention to not make a noise. His hand covered his mouth as a small noise rang out.

"_Dude, you okay?" _Stan asked, worry seeping through his own irritation. _"If you want I can come over and-"_

"No!" Kyle said suddenly, "No, I just-I'm watching basketball and both teams are sucking. I want them both to just _stop._" He said the last word in a demanding tone, trying once more to push the blond away. But Kenny wasn't going to go away.

Instead, a hand left his hip to travel downward. Kyle shook his head again, pushing at the blond once more. A one-armed awkward hug had him being pushed back onto his lap. The hand traveled to his jeans, pushing its way underneath them slowly; teasing Kyle's nerves on the way down.

"_There's a game on tonight?"_

"_No!" _Kyle exclaimed as the hand reached its destination. It outlined his cock, teasing the nerves surrounding the area. His hand stopped its attempts to push the blond away, instead choosing to wrap around the other's shoulder. "It's-it's a recorded one. Anyway, you should go."

"_Um, okay?" _Stan half-asked, half-stated, unsure what to think of his friend's weirdness.

Fingers lightly touched the area, taunting Kyle with their every move. And whilst his eyes glared at Kenny, his hand pulled him closer. "Dude, I mean, just-just go for it. What happens, happens. The important thing is that you-" he gasped as the hand clutched the length it had been taunting, "-you love each other and the rest is just history."

"_I guess…I dunno, I should probably get out of her bathroom anyway."_

"Bye, Stan!" Kyle said, hanging up immediately. He gulped, inhaling sharply at the stroke Kenny gave. "Fuck you, Kenny!"

The blond laughed, moving his head to capture the redhead's lips. "Skipping ahead, don't you think?" Laughter lightening, he kissed the heated cheeks, moving to play with a flushed ear. "And you know you loved every moment…" He licked at the lobe, his hand grinding against Kyle's cock.

Kenny smirked as Kyle moaned, pulling away briefly. "Now, I've got a few plans for tonight…"

-0-

Kenny stretched, paying special attention to not bothering the boy wrapped around him. He exhaled contentedly, a hand reaching down to rub through the red curls scattered outward across his chest. The owner of said-curls made a small noise at the motion, head burying itself more fully against his chest.

Grinning at the sight, he closed his eyes, fingers twirling the hair outward. The night had been one he'd never forget, just like all the others. A hand reached out, grabbing the phone on the nightstand. He licked his lips, opening the picture if only to prove last night existed to himself.

His morning 'problem' only worsened, body awakening rapidly with the sight. Memories flashed in his mind along with the moans accompanying them.

"_I can't believe you're making me do this." Kyle muttered, arms desperately trying to cover himself more fully. _

_Kenny just pushed him down the bed eyes raking over every inch of him repeatedly. Dazedly, he replied. "Technically, it was a bargain."_

"_I'm getting the raw end of the deal." Kyle replied, a nervous hint to his voice edging out with the words. _

_Kenny kissed his neck, "Not yet, but you're about to be." he promised breathily._

The blond sighed, hand itching to lower itself. The redhead almost completely on top of him twitched as if sensing he was about to do something 'perverted.' He grinned, trying to engrave the picture into his mind as if it could go away at any moment.

"_You look so slutty, Kyle…" Kenny teased, a finger tracing the fabric. _

_The redhead shuddered, head burying itself into a pillow below him. Then, he shifted, tensing. "Kenny…"_

_He couldn't stop staring, it was hard enough to know the view would be gone just moments later. And according to how fucking hard he was, he knew it'd be a waste not to save. He gulped, eyes not leaving the sight as fingers found his phone._

He'd been unable to resist snapping a picture just then, the lighting, the mood, the redness of that _ass… _He thumbed the image, desperately wanting to relive that moment.

_His heart pounded in his chest, "God, Kyle, you look so fucking hot right now…If anyone saw you they'd fucking die."_

_If anything the other grew redder, shifting from knee to knee in barely-concealed embarrassment. "Will you just hurry up and stop staring? It's fucking embarrassing."_

_As the picture snapped, he still didn't look away from the sight. He reached out, hand ditching the phone as arms hugged around the legs in front of him. His head lay against the cheeks in front of him happily. "Just give me a moment." _

He laughed under his breath, remembering the irritable Kyle that followed that moment. And staring at the picture, he couldn't help but wonder… And as Kyle awoke, blinking owlishly at him, he hit the 'send' button. _I just know I'm going to fucking regret this. _A peck on the lips distracted him from the thought as his hand closed his phone.

Clyde choked on his cereal a moment later, cheeks red and eyes wide he practically fell off his chair. His phone lay innocently on the table, open to a message from Kenny McCormick.

The text read, _i call this pic revenge bitch._

And in a way, it was revenge.

_Unlike the first picture, this one was from the back angle. On his knees, striped thigh-high stocking-clad legs spread open to reveal hands further away from the viewer, twisting in embarrassment around the cover from the bed nearest the headboard. Closest to the screen, toes curled with excitement, as thighs practically looked as if they were quivering in the position from either excitement or nerves. Between them the barely-covered beginnings of a no-doubt hard cock. Balls peeked out from around matching striped fabric, full cheeks practically hiding them from view. The cheeks-large, round, flushed innocently- greeted the viewer, both spread from the angle. The thong nestled in the middle, hiding the entrance underneath from view, taunting all with its very existence. _

Kenny grinned at the sleepy redhead, "Morning." he greeted, moving a stray curl behind the other's ear.

_**-End of Chapter-**_

_**Author's Note: The stockings and thong were Occulta's idea and picture. If she posts said-pic I'll leave a link here. Needless to say it's very, very hot! ;D**_


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